I was a part of UCC's college group ""Catalyst"" for a long time. No matter what I did I was never good enough for the group. During my time at Catalyst I saw a lot of things I did not agree with. I did not approve with Matt Robbins promoting to college men how many women there are at Catalyst. I found this to be most inappropriate. Robins gave me a list of things I had to do to change myself. I did all that was asked. In the end I was still never good enough. I was even physically assaulted by another member of Catalyst. The Catalyst member who assaulted me was later on made a leader. I was ordered by Matt to never tell anyone what happened. I realized I would never be worthy of Catalyst so I left. Which then I found out that Matt had told all of my confidential conversations between the two of us with other pastors. At two different churches I was told by their pastors that ""Matt and I are friends so it would be better for everyone if you didn't come here again"". I was then bombarded by other Catalyst members on Facebook. Telling me how horrible I am. Saying that I am ""A wolf in cheep's clothing"" a ""snake in the grass"" and ""Cancer to the Christian church"". I turned to the bible. I found myself in 2 Peter 2:1-3
""But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2 Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. 3 In their greed these teachers will exploit you with fabricated stories. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.""
These people had me convinced that it would be best for the church if I just killed myself. They had me convinced that all I did and all I would ever do is harm the church. One pastor even guaranteed that whatever bible study I go to I will ruin. I asked myself ""how could a pastor be wrong?"". All I could think about is killing myself. I love going to church and being a Christian. I wouldn't want to do anything to harm it. I had to go a long way to find a community untainted by the Davis circle and get help. After receiving help I had moved on. But then I found out that what had happened to me had happened to another person. A young girl. I don't want it to happen to another. I am writing this not to harm the reputation of UCC or Christianity, but to help any of those who find themselves in the same situation I was in. They might not find the same help I did. So I just want to share what happened to me in hopes that it may help somebody. Here is a Davis wiki article on spiritual abuse with many helpful links:
(Wont let me leave links sorry. But please seek help)
Once again, I am not doing this out of revenge or some sort of petty internet trolling. I am doing this to help. I couldnt stand it if I heard that another person went through what I did and I did nothing. I harbor no ill feelings towards any member of Catalyst or UCC and wish everyone the best. Just hoping this helps somebody.
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